February 2, 1962
Seven whites and four Blacks arrested after all-night sit-in at Englewood, N.J., city hall. Four Black mothers arrested after sit-in at Chicago elementary school. Mothers later received suspended $50 fines. Protests, picketing and demonstrations continued for several weeks against de facto segregation, double shifts and mobile classrooms.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Upcoming Book Release
Victorious Living for Moms: Letters To a Mother's Heart Anthology
Release date: May 3, 2011
Book Release Celebration: Saturday, April 30, 2011
Location: Tampa, FL
For more information contact: Cheryl A. Pullins at info@victoriousbooks.com
Release date: May 3, 2011
Book Release Celebration: Saturday, April 30, 2011
Location: Tampa, FL
For more information contact: Cheryl A. Pullins at info@victoriousbooks.com
Monday, November 1, 2010
Co-Parenting; A Cute Word Poses A Not So Cute Situation
Recently I entered into a debate with one of my prized sparring partners in which we questioned if we’d allow a mate to co-parent a child that is not biologically his/hers. My sparring partner said her answer would depend on the motivation of the parent. Is involving the mate a ploy to win him or her back or are the adults genuine friends and the mate is the only man/woman in the child’s life other than the parent? She said she would consider the latter circumstance. Now my sparring partner comes from a non-traditional co-parenting situation that couldn’t be better if Sherwood Schwartz wrote it himself. Her parents divorced re-married and both stepparents treated her as if she were theirs. Even after her dad’s second marriage dissolved, her first stepmother continued and continues to be a major integral in her life.
It really is something to think about, if one is willing to volunteer [himself] to include another being intrinsically into their lives especially when it is a situation one can avoid by exiting the relationship or because biologically there is no obligation on the part of the mate.
I say no, if the child is not biological; recalling having been in a similar situation some fifteen years ago. I was dating a man for a few months when he revealed to me that he had been heavily involved with his ex-girlfriend’s son’s life for the two years he dated the mother. And although my mate had no intentions or desire to date the mother, he wanted to be involved with the son, because he liked and loved the son and cared that the mother had generously shared him with my mate. As warm-hearted as this sounded, I listened intently and swiftly issued an ultimatum that my mate choose between continuing to date me or to be involved in the boy’s life and navigate a possible expectation of relationship from and with the boy’s mother.
When I think of the situation I faced my stance sounds selfish. But would I change my answer today? For I had found a jewel, a man I liked would possibly love, with all of his teeth, educated, good credit, spiritual, heterosexual and a handsome guy who had not been married and here’s the kicker—drum roll please—no children! And now this man is asking me to share him with a child that is not his. I think not! Clearly I had come out of a troubled relationship surrounding children, no children, maybe but I thought far ahead. Would I want to enter this situation and was I in the heart and mindset to deal with what could be a number of unforeseen complications? I opted not, issued my ultimatum and held my breath. He chose me. We eventually married and have been for twelve years.
Again, when I think of it today it sounds selfish. I don’t know how that young man has turned out but I do know that my husband would have been a positive influence on his life. However, as selfish as my choice was, my choice would be the same today. I believed then and believe now, my then boyfriend maintaining a relationship with a child that is not biologically his posed a situation I didn’t have to deal with and didn’t want to. I’m not speaking of a step-parent situation. I am speaking of a situation where the agreement between two people is verbal and for the most part one-sided in terms of rights, influence and could be based on the biological parent’s mood. I wasn’t interested in having another woman dictate any terms in our household based on the fact that her son was a fixture. Now if my then boyfriend had chosen the boy, I would have been sad but I would have eventually realized that was not the situation, relationship or man for me.
This is Toni Staton Harris Checkin’ Up and Checkin’ In on Co-parenting, Traditional or Non-traditional; is it for you?
It really is something to think about, if one is willing to volunteer [himself] to include another being intrinsically into their lives especially when it is a situation one can avoid by exiting the relationship or because biologically there is no obligation on the part of the mate.
I say no, if the child is not biological; recalling having been in a similar situation some fifteen years ago. I was dating a man for a few months when he revealed to me that he had been heavily involved with his ex-girlfriend’s son’s life for the two years he dated the mother. And although my mate had no intentions or desire to date the mother, he wanted to be involved with the son, because he liked and loved the son and cared that the mother had generously shared him with my mate. As warm-hearted as this sounded, I listened intently and swiftly issued an ultimatum that my mate choose between continuing to date me or to be involved in the boy’s life and navigate a possible expectation of relationship from and with the boy’s mother.
When I think of the situation I faced my stance sounds selfish. But would I change my answer today? For I had found a jewel, a man I liked would possibly love, with all of his teeth, educated, good credit, spiritual, heterosexual and a handsome guy who had not been married and here’s the kicker—drum roll please—no children! And now this man is asking me to share him with a child that is not his. I think not! Clearly I had come out of a troubled relationship surrounding children, no children, maybe but I thought far ahead. Would I want to enter this situation and was I in the heart and mindset to deal with what could be a number of unforeseen complications? I opted not, issued my ultimatum and held my breath. He chose me. We eventually married and have been for twelve years.
Again, when I think of it today it sounds selfish. I don’t know how that young man has turned out but I do know that my husband would have been a positive influence on his life. However, as selfish as my choice was, my choice would be the same today. I believed then and believe now, my then boyfriend maintaining a relationship with a child that is not biologically his posed a situation I didn’t have to deal with and didn’t want to. I’m not speaking of a step-parent situation. I am speaking of a situation where the agreement between two people is verbal and for the most part one-sided in terms of rights, influence and could be based on the biological parent’s mood. I wasn’t interested in having another woman dictate any terms in our household based on the fact that her son was a fixture. Now if my then boyfriend had chosen the boy, I would have been sad but I would have eventually realized that was not the situation, relationship or man for me.
This is Toni Staton Harris Checkin’ Up and Checkin’ In on Co-parenting, Traditional or Non-traditional; is it for you?
Monday, August 9, 2010
What's your child reading??
What type of books does your son/daughter read? Do you check? Or just because they are actually reading your not concerned about what it is they might be reading. I actually just had a 14 y/o tell me that her favorite author is Zane............OK now put the brakes on!!!! Some of Zane books are to much for me let alone a 14 y/o child. It is up to (us) the parent to make sure that our child is reading age appropriate material. So I ask you today....what's your child reading??
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Addressing Fellow Parents...We are all in this together
My daughter and I have the type of relationship that mom’s dream of. My little lady is a fourteen-year-old honor roll student getting ready to embark on her high school years. She’s excited and nervous all at the same time. Will I make new friends, will I make the cheer team, will I be able to continue my honors courses with all that high school pressure? Can you say STRESSFUL? Remember, I said that my daughter is fourteen. Parents, lets face it. Our kids deal with a ton of stress, and you may not even be aware of it. Everyday my husband and I sound like a broken record. How was school? Anything happen? Anything you want to talk about? We then sit back and wait for the latest MIDDLE SCHOOL (drama) to unfold on our way home or at the dinner table. The peer pressure that our kids deal with is enough to make them feel horrible in side. Some of this peer pressure leads to kids shying away even more from their parents because they feel like –they just will not understand. There is also a lot more teenage suicide. Some may say “How can a kid be stressed out when all they have to do is go school?” Well, lets see. Once your child hits puberty, their attitudes seem to change. Some may even rebel, or worse, become sexually active. Some say , not my kid. Well, how would you know if you don’t have a relationship with your daughter or son? We, as parents, sometimes get so caught up in our own world that we forget that our children may have something on their minds that they need to talk about.
Its time for us to communicate better with our children and their friends. Let them know that we are here whenever they may need an ear. We also have to keep an open mind. Don’t fly off the handle when your kid tells you what’s going on with them or a friend. Offer opinions or solutions. Remember, we are dealing with young adults now. They are communicating with you. It would be better for all parties involved to keep the lines of communication open. Once that bond is broken, its hard to get back.
Mother’s, talk to your girls about respecting themselves. Our girls have to understand that they can attract negative attention by the way they dress and speak. Let them know what they should look for in a young man when its time to choose a prom dates. Also let them know what not to put up with. They need to know how to weed out the gentlemen from those that have bad intentions.
Father’s, talk to your boys about appearance and respect. We should not see underwear, and they should not be calling these young ladies anything but their names. Tell and show them, how women are to be treated, what to do and what not to do. They must remember, respect is paramount and first impressions go a long way.
Parent’s two great books for reference are:
Take Back Your Family: How to Raise Respectful and Loving Kids in a Dysfunctional World by Rev. Run, Justine Simmons, and Chris Morrow
Take Back Your Family: A Challenge to America's Parents by Rev. Run, Justine Simmons, and Chris Morrow
Its time for us to communicate better with our children and their friends. Let them know that we are here whenever they may need an ear. We also have to keep an open mind. Don’t fly off the handle when your kid tells you what’s going on with them or a friend. Offer opinions or solutions. Remember, we are dealing with young adults now. They are communicating with you. It would be better for all parties involved to keep the lines of communication open. Once that bond is broken, its hard to get back.
Mother’s, talk to your girls about respecting themselves. Our girls have to understand that they can attract negative attention by the way they dress and speak. Let them know what they should look for in a young man when its time to choose a prom dates. Also let them know what not to put up with. They need to know how to weed out the gentlemen from those that have bad intentions.
Father’s, talk to your boys about appearance and respect. We should not see underwear, and they should not be calling these young ladies anything but their names. Tell and show them, how women are to be treated, what to do and what not to do. They must remember, respect is paramount and first impressions go a long way.
Parent’s two great books for reference are:
Take Back Your Family: How to Raise Respectful and Loving Kids in a Dysfunctional World by Rev. Run, Justine Simmons, and Chris Morrow
Take Back Your Family: A Challenge to America's Parents by Rev. Run, Justine Simmons, and Chris Morrow
Addressing Fellow Parents...We are all in this together
My daughter and I have the type of relationship that mom’s dream of. My little lady is a fourteen-year-old honor roll student getting ready to embark on her high school years. She’s excited and nervous all at the same time. Will I make new friends, will I make the cheer team, will I be able to continue my honors courses with all that high school pressure? Can you say STRESSFUL? Remember, I said that my daughter is fourteen. Parents, lets face it. Our kids deal with a ton of stress, and you may not even be aware of it. Everyday my husband and I sound like a broken record. How was school? Anything happen? Anything you want to talk about? We then sit back and wait for the latest MIDDLE SCHOOL (drama) to unfold on our way home or at the dinner table. The peer pressure that our kids deal with is enough to make them feel horrible in side. Some of this peer pressure leads to kids shying away even more from their parents because they feel like –they just will not understand. There is also a lot more teenage suicide. Some may say “How can a kid be stressed out when all they have to do is go school?” Well, lets see. Once your child hits puberty, their attitudes seem to change. Some may even rebel, or worse, become sexually active. Some say , not my kid. Well, how would you know if you don’t have a relationship with your daughter or son? We, as parents, sometimes get so caught up in our own world that we forget that our children may have something on their minds that they need to talk about.
Its time for us to communicate better with our children and their friends. Let them know that we are here whenever they may need an ear. We also have to keep an open mind. Don’t fly off the handle when your kid tells you what’s going on with them or a friend. Offer opinions or solutions. Remember, we are dealing with young adults now. They are communicating with you. It would be better for all parties involved to keep the lines of communication open. Once that bond is broken, its hard to get back.
Mother’s, talk to your girls about respecting themselves. Our girls have to understand that they can attract negative attention by the way they dress and speak. Let them know what they should look for in a young man when its time to choose a prom dates. Also let them know what not to put up with. They need to know how to weed out the gentlemen from those that have bad intentions.
Father’s, talk to your boys about appearance and respect. We should not see underwear, and they should not be calling these young ladies anything but their names. Tell and show them, how women are to be treated, what to do and what not to do. They must remember, respect is paramount and first impressions go a long way.
Parent’s two great books for reference are:
Take Back Your Family: How to Raise Respectful and Loving Kids in a Dysfunctional World by Rev. Run, Justine Simmons, and Chris Morrow
Take Back Your Family: A Challenge to America's Parents by Rev. Run, Justine Simmons, and Chris Morrow
Its time for us to communicate better with our children and their friends. Let them know that we are here whenever they may need an ear. We also have to keep an open mind. Don’t fly off the handle when your kid tells you what’s going on with them or a friend. Offer opinions or solutions. Remember, we are dealing with young adults now. They are communicating with you. It would be better for all parties involved to keep the lines of communication open. Once that bond is broken, its hard to get back.
Mother’s, talk to your girls about respecting themselves. Our girls have to understand that they can attract negative attention by the way they dress and speak. Let them know what they should look for in a young man when its time to choose a prom dates. Also let them know what not to put up with. They need to know how to weed out the gentlemen from those that have bad intentions.
Father’s, talk to your boys about appearance and respect. We should not see underwear, and they should not be calling these young ladies anything but their names. Tell and show them, how women are to be treated, what to do and what not to do. They must remember, respect is paramount and first impressions go a long way.
Parent’s two great books for reference are:
Take Back Your Family: How to Raise Respectful and Loving Kids in a Dysfunctional World by Rev. Run, Justine Simmons, and Chris Morrow
Take Back Your Family: A Challenge to America's Parents by Rev. Run, Justine Simmons, and Chris Morrow
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